This week for writing we were making a hook to hook the reader in to get there attention.
Next time I would add more smiles and adjectives so that the reader would keep wanting to read more.
I found it hard to add in some thing that would hook the readers attention so they would want to keep on reader more.
I found it easy to use onomatopoeia in my sentences and in my brainstorm I used a smile.
Remember that this is only the introduction. Does it make you want to read the rest of my recount?
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ReplyDeleteKia ora. I am Jakob from St Mary’s School.
ReplyDeleteI really like the hook you wrote for writing, I can't wait to read the rest of your story. I also like the image in the background of people going down the luge. It reminds me of the times I have been down the Luge.
Maybe you could go back and edit the size of your image and make it a little bit smaller because it's going off the page, and you can't read it properly.
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Mā te wā
Jakob R